Welcome to The Subtle Shift, a weekly newsletter where I share small but powerful ideas to help you lead with clarity, inspire change, and create a lasting impact. Several weeks ago, I wrote about the importance of giving others space. I explained that leaders have to do a delicate dance between staying in control and giving people freedom, but something struck me as I finished up that issue. I realized that leaders would never master that dance if they didn’t know how to give themselves space.
How Driven Are You?
If you’re like most of the leaders I work with, you’re extremely driven.
Motivation isn’t your issue.
You’re accountable. You show up. You get things done.
But because of that drive, you probably don’t think of space as a resource.
You think of it as a luxury.
Or worse, an inefficiency.
When you’re wired for action and surrounded by pressure to perform, stepping back feels counterintuitive. Stepping away feels like falling behind.
But here’s the truth: leaders who never create space rarely gain perspective.
And without perspective, it’s nearly impossible to lead well for a sustainable period.
We can’t see the system when we’re stuck inside it.
We can’t solve the problem when we’re consumed by it.
We can’t show up with clarity when we never give ourselves time to clear our heads.
Why Space Matters
Psychologists refer to this concept as psychological distancing, and it’s one of the most subtle but powerful skills a leader can develop.
In his book Chatter, psychologist Ethan Kross explains how psychological distancing helps us regulate our thoughts, reduce emotional reactivity, and make better decisions.
He explains how we can mentally step back from what’s happening in our heads in order to see it with fresh eyes.
Think about zooming out rather than zooming in.
Try to shift from being in the story to observing it.
It sounds simple, but it’s a subtle and essential shift in consciousness that we often overlook when we’re busy and reactive. Sometimes, our drive keeps us from experiencing the value of stillness.
What Space Looks Like
Space doesn’t have to be big and bold. You don’t have to take a six-month sabbatical or move to a cabin in the woods.
All you need to do is build moments into your day, week, or month that are intentionally unproductive.
Moments to reflect, breathe, go for a walk and listen to your thoughts without interruption.
To observe your inner chatter—and reframe it.
Because in those moments, something important happens.
You stop reacting and start noticing.
You stop striving and start sensing.
You stop running and start leading again.
A Request
I’m doing some research on how leaders create space for themselves, and I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you do, big or small, to step away from the noise and create space for yourself?
Just hit reply and let me know, and don’t feel any pressure to be profound or polished. I’d like to know what is working for you, and your response might help someone else who needs a reminder to pause as well.
Here’s to a little more space, a little more stillness, and the subtle shifts that come when we give ourselves room to breathe.
