A few years ago, I worked with a very successful CEO.
He was smart, capable, and very creative.
But in one of our first coaching sessions, he said something I’ll never forget.
“I’m putting on a good show, but I feel like I’m going to break!”
He wasn’t worried about performance. He was worried about the pressure and how he was handling it.
That’s when it hit me.
The best leaders aren’t just masters of strategy, communication, or execution. They’re masters of themselves.
They play two games at once: The outer game of performance, and the inner game of presence.
Most leaders only focus on the first one. They pay attention to what’s happening outside of them, while neglecting what is going on inside them. They overindex on what is tangible and practical, ignoring what is invisible yet powerful.
They fine-tune strategies but overlook their own state of mind.
They measure outcomes but rarely monitor their outlook.
They focus on projects, plans, and people, but forget to focus on themselves.
And that’s the real difference between good leaders and great ones. Good leaders manage the outer game. Great leaders master the inner one.
But here’s the thing most people never tell you about the inner game:
It isn’t mastered through obvious means…It’s mastered through subtle ones.
In the pause before you respond.
In the breath you take before you speak.
In the choice to listen instead of defend.
Every time you steady yourself, you strengthen yourself. Every time you grow internally, you expand your capacity to lead externally.
When your inner world is calm, your outer world follows.
So the next time you feel the pressure rising, try this:
Pause.
Take one deep breath.
Ask yourself, “Am I reacting from pressure or responding with presence?”
That one question changes everything, and it can help you win the inner game!
