Welcome to The Subtle Shift, a weekly newsletter where I share small but powerful ideas to help you lead with clarity, inspire change, and create a lasting impact. This week, I want us to examine toxic assumptions in leadership: those subconscious beliefs that operate in the background, shape how we perceive the world, and hinder our progress as leaders. While some assumptions can be helpful, toxic assumptions quietly create tension, limit connection, and make leadership more complicated than it needs to be. Let’s take a closer look.
Assumptions Can Be Subtle, and Harmful
In my upcoming book, Subtle Shifts, I explain how assumptions play a pivotal role in a chain of events that lead to achievement. We all have assumptions that help us make sense of the world quickly. Assumptions serve as shortcuts that help us navigate through life.
But sometimes, without realizing it, we start to rely on our assumptions when they aren’t so helpful. When we think or believe something repeatedly, it becomes an embedded conclusion that shapes how we show up in the world.
This is especially true when it comes to toxic assumptions in leadership.
Imagine what a leader might do if they believe that:
- “Nobody cares as much as I do.”
- “If I don’t step in, it won’t get done right.”
- “He’s not trying hard enough.”
- “I need to be right.”
They may start watching others too closely, stepping in more often than necessary.
These toxic assumptions in leadership can turn someone into a micro-manager who is unable to let others take ownership and responsibility.
Drowning in an urge to be in control, they begin correcting small details, second-guessing team members, and holding onto responsibility, because they’re convinced no one else will rise to the occasion.
Over time, their actions lead to isolation, the weight of responsibility grows heavy, and cognitive bias reinforces their assumptions.
This vicious cycle eventually leads to lower teamwork, lower performance, and higher stress for the leader.
As frustrations build, relationships shift, and what started as a couple of quiet beliefs begins to grow into a deeply held assumption that shapes how the leader shows up. It is almost as if that leader now has an aura or a presence of distrust that others can sense and feel.
How to Recognize Toxic Assumptions in Leadership
Assumptions aren’t inherently bad, but the toxic ones share three traits:
- They oversimplify complexity – Human behavior is nuanced, problems are multidimensional, and root causes are often invisible to the eye. But toxic assumptions strip all of that away and reduce rich, complicated realities into one-dimensional explanations. They also tend to stereotype people into categories like lazy, resistant, and selfish. These shortcuts feel efficient, but they come at the cost of understanding. When we oversimplify, we stop seeing people as a whole, reduce trust, and diminish leadership.
- They close off curiosity. – A healthy assumption invites further observation. A toxic assumption in leadership does the opposite. It shuts the door and closes us off. Once we believe we already know why someone did something, we stop asking questions, listening for context, and wondering what we might be missing. Curiosity is a leadership skill, but it’s one we lose the moment we assume we already have the answer. Toxic assumptions replace curiosity with certainty, and certainty can be dangerous when it’s built on incomplete information.
- They justify our worst impulses. – When an assumption goes unchecked, it becomes a rationale we use as permission to act in ways we usually wouldn’t. We micromanage because “no one else gets it.” We grow distant because “they don’t appreciate our efforts.” We blame others because “they should’ve known better.” When we buy into a harmful story and justify our worst impulses, we become leaders people don’t want to follow and colleagues whom others struggle to trust. Instead of fostering connection, we create tension and provoke resentment. Over time, our performance begins to slip because we were leading from a place of fear, frustration, or false certainty.
This Week’s Subtle Shift
This week’s subtle shift is about exposing toxic assumptions in leadership. Question your assumptions and notice which ones are quietly steering you off course. The next time you feel certain or compelled to make a quick judgment about someone’s behavior, ask:
- What am I assuming right now?
- How am I oversimplifying this in my mind?
- What else could be true?
- What might change if I led from curiosity instead of certainty?
Remember this: toxic assumptions thrive in the dark, but when we bring them into the light, they lose their power.
If this helped you spot toxic assumptions in leadership, please reply and share one with me. I’m building a list to share with clients, and I’d love your insights.
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