We all want to help people when they’re struggling, but most of us do so the wrong way.
We try to be helpful by giving feedback and end up pointing out what’s not working, offering suggestions, or explaining what they could do differently. We mean well. But too often, what we think is helpful feels like criticism to the other person.
And when someone’s already struggling, that’s the last thing they need.
I’ve made this mistake plenty of times myself. I’ve offered advice when someone really needed encouragement. I’ve pointed out flaws when they needed me to have faith.
Believing in someone is a subtle act, but a powerful one.
When people are under pressure, they don’t need to be reminded of their shortcomings. They need to be reminded that you still believe in them.
They need us to send them support signals: subtle cues that convey that we believe in them.
Support signals are those quiet cues that say, “I’m with you.”
A nod that says, “I see your effort.”
A tone that carries empathy instead of frustration.
A statement like, “I know this is hard, but I believe you can handle it.”
Those moments matter more than you can imagine. They empower others and build trust. They help people find their footing again and show up as their best selves.
When people feel believed in, they rise to the occasion. When you believe in someone, you change the entire energy between you and help them find their own way forward. You stop sending signals of doubt and start sending signals of trust.
This week, think about someone who’s been struggling. Perhaps it is a teammate, a colleague, or someone at home. Before you offer advice, pause and ask yourself:
“Will what I’m about to say make them feel believed in or criticized?”
That single question can change your whole approach.
Try it and you’ll notice people start to stand a little taller, take more ownership, lean back in, and begin to rise. All because you believed in them.
