I saw something very cool this weekend.
I played in a Ryder Cup–style golf event with 32 guys, split into two teams, and we spent the weekend trading friendly trash talk. By late afternoon, all but two foursomes had finished, and the outcome was still up for grabs. So the rest of us did what golfers typically do. We grabbed a drink and camped out behind the final green, a short par three over a pond, to watch the last groups come in.
We were having a pretty good time, until one of the players stepped up and hit a shot that flew right at the flag and landed about 25 feet past the hole. It took one hop, checked, and started spinning backward.
It was on the right line, and we all knew it would be close, and as the ball rolled closer and closer, we all started to close in around it. It felt like we were wishing it into the cup, and as the ball slowed down, with one or two rotations left, it fell into the cup.
The crowd erupted, and just like that we all witnessed a hole-in-one!
We looked across the pond and saw Mike throw both hands in the air, drop his club, and take off running around the pond on the cart path. By the time he reached the green, we were waiting for him with high fives and hugs. It was one of the greatest golf moments I’ve ever been a part of.
The last few inches
The odds of an average golfer making a hole-in-one are roughly 12,500 to 1. The typical amateur plays about 24 years before making one.
I’ve been playing for 30 years, and I’ve never had one. It’s not for lack of effort. I’ve taken lessons, logged countless hours on the range, and played more rounds than I can count. I’ve hit the flag twice. I’ve watched balls stop inches from the cup, but none have gone in.
Those last few inches aren’t something I can control my way into.
Hold it tight and loose
Most of the people I work with don’t have an effort problem. They have a control problem. They care so much about the outcome, whether it’s the presentation, the hard conversation, or the quarterly sales targets, that they squeeze everything tighter. But the tighter they squeeze, the worse their performance gets.
Golfers talk a lot about grip pressure. Hold the club too tight and your swing gets rigid, forced, and tense. Hold it too loose, and you lose control entirely. The best players grip it firmly enough to guide the club and loosely enough to let it release.
Leadership works the same way.
Hold it tight: When you prepare for a difficult conversation, know your ask, rehearse the hard sentence, and commit fully when you’re in the room.
Hold it loose: Once you’ve said what you need to say, stop managing their reaction. Don’t grade the conversation by whether they changed on the spot, and don’t let one missed pitch or one bad quarter convince you the work isn’t working.
If we want to optimize our performance, we have to do the work, but we also have to let go. We can’t force things to happen, but we can create the conditions for great things.
This week’s subtle shift
Learn to separate the quality of your effort from the outcome you can’t control. Judge yourself on how well you prepared and how fully you committed. Then let the ball roll.
And when the magic does happen, for you or for someone next to you, drop the club, run around the pond, and celebrate those last few inches. Those moments are rare.
