Are You An Overachiever?
Last week, I was chatting with a friend who told me a story about his boss that stopped me in my tracks.
His boss is a classic overachiever. He is the kind of person society wants us to admire. He is intelligent, disciplined, capable, and relentlessly focused on results. For years, he poured himself into proving his worth and hitting every target.
But beneath the surface, he developed a problem.
People find him unbearable and can’t live up to his expectations. He is in a position of power, so people have to put up with his incessant drive for excellence. However, he is mentally exhausting to be around, and he is exhausted as well.
He admitted to my friend that the way he was working wasn’t working after the CEO gave him feedback that he came across as too driven, too formal, and too logical. The CEO told him that the very qualities that made him effective were also creating blind spots and tension.
So what did he do? Being the overachiever that he was, he tried to solve the problem with the same approach that had gotten him into trouble in the first place.
- He became even more driven.
- He grew more formal.
- He doubled down on logic, and
- He fell back into his pattern of micromanagement and control.
He fell into the trap that many high achievers fall into. He tried to achieve his way out of being so achievement-oriented.
The Downside of Achievement
Achievement is not a bad thing under normal circumstances. It helps us set goals, reach milestones, and build careers. But when achievement becomes a compulsion, it turns into something more dangerous.
It begins operating on overdrive and turns into a relentless voice in our head telling us to:
- Do more.
- Get more.
- Be more.
This voice isn’t always loud. It’s often subtle, and you might not even notice it. But it drives you all the same. It nudges you to send one more email, polish the presentation one more time, or add just one more project to your plate.
Left unchecked, that voice becomes your default. It creates the illusion of progress, but it can quietly erode trust, authenticity, and presence. The people around you feel the strain, even if you don’t.
The Subtle Shift
Here’s where awareness comes in. The call of achievement is subtle, but the shift away from overachievement is equally nuanced.
You don’t need to abandon achievement. You don’t need to silence the drive that has helped you succeed. What you need to do is dial it back.
Think of your achievement like a volume knob. Many high achievers tend to operate with the dial permanently set at a 10 out of 10. Every situation, every project, and every interaction receives the volume at full blast. It’s exhausting for the achiever and everyone who comes into contact with them.
The fundamental shift is learning to turn the dial down to a 7 or an 8.
At that setting, you’re still driven and capable. You’re still aiming high. But you’re also leaving space for curiosity, presence, and connection. You’re not overwhelming the room with intensity or drowning out the contributions of others.
At this level, you are right-sizing your energy.
How to Turn Down the Dial
So how do you make this shift?
- Notice the voice in your head. Start by tuning into the subtle voice that tells you to do more. Ask yourself: Am I pushing harder because the situation requires it, or because that’s just my default?
- Experiment With Volume. In your next meeting or project, consciously turn the dial down. Instead of jumping in with the most logical solution, try listening first. Instead of drafting a two-page memo, try a five-minute conversation.
- Measure by Trust, Not Just Results. Overachievers tend to measure success by output. Instead, ask: Did this interaction build trust? Did people feel seen and respected? Trust is often the most accurate measure of sustainable leadership.
The Bottom Line
Overachievement can appear to be a strength, but when it runs on overdrive, it becomes a liability. The very muscle that helps you succeed can undermine your leadership if it’s constantly flexed at full strength.
The subtle shift is not to achieve less, but to gain more wisely. We want to recognize when the dial is set too high and to have the courage to turn it down.
So this week, I encourage you to reflect:
- Where in my work is my achievement dial stuck on 10?
- What would it look like to dial it back to a 7 or 8?
- How would my relationships and my results benefit if I did?
Remember: leadership isn’t about proving more. It’s about being more. And sometimes the most powerful move is the subtle one.
Here’s to a week of awareness, balance, and the subtle shifts that make all the difference in your leadership and life.
