Welcome to The Subtle Shift, a weekly newsletter where I share subtle but powerful ideas to help you lead with clarity, inspire change, and create a lasting impact. This week, I want to share three subtle shifts in communication that can help you redirect attention more effectively. If you can master these shifts, you’ll change what your team notices, cares about, and ultimately acts on. To understand why these shifts work, let’s take a closer look.
Why This Matters
In my upcoming book, Subtle Shifts, I explain that one of the most powerful things a leader can do is shift their attention. That may sound simple, but it isn’t always easy, especially when we’re moving fast, juggling priorities, and trying to influence others.
At the heart of effective leadership is where you focus your attention. Here’s why it matters:
- Attention drives Assumptions.
- Assumptions drive Actions.
- Actions drive Achievements.
I know that is a lot of “A” words, but it is important! If your achievements aren’t what you want them to be, the problem may not be your strategy. It may be where your attention, or your team’s attention, is focused.
3 Subtle Shifts In Communication
1. Shift from “I” to “You”
This is one of the easiest ways to empower others and reduce your own overwhelm.
Many leaders default to “I” language:
- “I need this by Friday.”
- “I would like you to check in with Bob.”
- “I think we need to fix this.”
At first glance, they sound perfectly reasonable. However, while those phrases might seem harmless, they subtly place the leader at the center of the problem and the solution. Over time, this makes people feel like they’re working for you rather than with you.
However, here are a couple of subtle shifts in communication that can alter how people perceive things. Reframe the same ideas using “You” language that promotes ownership and action:
- “Can you get this done by Friday?”
- “Would you be willing to check in with Bob?”
- “What do you think the best next step is?”
This isn’t just semantics. It’s a powerful way to create clarity, delegate effectively, and place attention where it belongs: on the person who’s responsible for taking action.
Here are five examples to illustrate the difference:
“I” Statement | “You” Reframe |
I need you to finish this report. | Can you finish the report by 3:00 p.m.? |
I would like you to meet with the team. | Will you meet with the team this afternoon? |
I think we should change the timeline. | Do you think the timeline needs to shift? |
I’m worried this won’t get done. | What’s your plan to make sure it gets done? |
I’d like your help on this project. | Can you take ownership of this project? |
2. From Telling to Requesting
Most managers are good at giving instructions. Fewer are good at making requests.
Telling sounds like:
- “Send this by the end of the day.”
- “Loop me in next time.”
- “Don’t let this happen again.”
On the surface, it’s efficient. But over time, a steady stream of commands can wear people down. They feel directed, not respected.
Requesting, on the other hand, invites buy-in:
- “Would you be able to send this by the end of the day?”
- “Can you loop me in next time so I’m aware?”
- “Would you be willing to approach it differently next time?”
These subtle shifts in communication can help you bring out the best in others.
They change the dynamic from compliance to collaboration.
And when people feel like they have agency, they’re more likely to follow through and feel a sense of ownership.
3. Ask Future-Focused Questions
In addition to how we frame our statements, the types of questions we ask also influence the direction of attention.
Questions are attention shifters.
When someone brings you a complaint, it’s easy to focus on the past:
- “What happened?”
- “Why did they do that?”
- “When did this begin?”
But those questions often lead to drama, defensiveness, or long-winded stories that don’t move things forward. They pull everyone back into what went wrong instead of moving toward what’s possible.
Here is another subtle shift in communication? Ask questions that focus attention on what’s next:
- “What are you going to do about it?”
- “What outcome do you want to create?”
- “What’s one thing you can try to improve this?”
Future-focused questions are a powerful way to set a new tone. They invite agency, innovation, creativity, and accountability. They also create forward momentum by shifting people’s attention forward.
This Week’s Subtle Shift
To sum it all up, subtle shifts in communication have a powerful effect. They create attention shifts that change our actions and outcomes.
If you want your team to focus better, start by shifting what you say and how you say it.
- Move from “I” to “You”
- Ask forward-looking questions
- Make requests instead of giving commands
Each of these subtle shifts in communication sends a signal about what matters, who owns what, and where to focus next.
So here’s your prompt for the week:
What’s one subtle shift you can make in your communication that will help your team focus better?
I’d love to hear about it. Simply hit ‘reply’ and let me know.
