Welcome to The Subtle Shift, a weekly newsletter where I share small but powerful ideas to help you lead with clarity, inspire change, and create a lasting impact. This week’s issue is about something every leader eventually faces, but few feel equipped for—leading through a loss. If you find this helpful, please pass it along to someone going through a tough stretch right now.
The Hardest Part of Leadership
As leaders, we all want to win, and winning feels great. When momentum is on our side, when the team is firing on all cylinders, and when the scoreboard reflects our effort, it’s fun, energizing, and deeply fulfilling.
But every once in a while, we’re handed a loss.
Right now, someone close to me is facing one of those moments. She’s an exceptional leader—sharp, thoughtful, and respected by her team. And she’s navigating a massive reorganization that is politically charged and overwhelming. I hope you haven’t experienced something similar because layoffs are not fun, and watching hard-working people you care about deeply lose their jobs hurts. To make matters worse, any day now, she could lose hers, too.
This isn’t the part of leadership that gets talked about in books or celebrated on LinkedIn. But it’s real. And it matters.
The Subtle Strength Required in Loss
Dealing with loss isn’t fun. In fact, it can be very emotional and incredibly exhausting. It can cloud your judgment, test your patience, and make you question your ability to lead.
But in these moments—when things are uncertain and heavy—subtle shifts matter most.
Not grand gestures. Not perfect plans. But presence. Attention. Small moves that change the feel of everything.
How we lead through a loss shapes our character and relationships. Our leadership significantly affects people’s lives and can even affect the outcome.
Subtle Shifts That Make a Big Difference
Here are a few shifts you can focus on to make a meaningful impact when teams are moving through a tough season:
1. Shift from Certainty to Honesty
You don’t have to have all the answers. In fact, pretending you do will only erode trust.
Say what you do know. Admit what you don’t. People can handle hard news—they just want to know you’re being real with them.
Say this: “Here’s what I know, here’s what I don’t, and here’s what I’m committed to doing in the meantime.”
2. Shift from Fixing to Feeling
Loss isn’t a problem to solve—it’s an experience to move through.
Instead of rushing to make things better, slow down and acknowledge what’s been lost. Let people grieve and hear them out.
Say this: “I don’t have a solution, but I want to make space for how it’s affecting you.”
3. Shift from Isolation to Connection
Leaders often feel like they need to carry the weight alone. But connection is what carries people through.
Even small moments of shared humanity—checking in, listening, being present—help people feel seen and supported.
Try this: Block off 10 minutes daily to personally connect with someone on your team. Just to ask how they’re doing.
Why It Matters
When leaders make subtle shifts like these, they do more than guide people through loss—they help them grow through it.
They preserve dignity, build trust, and model resilience that lasts far beyond the current moment.
And in the end, that’s what people remember about you. They will remember the loss—but they will also remember how their leader showed up in that experience.
So, focus on how you want to show up as a leader and consider the following:
- Where can I trade certainty for honesty?
- Where can I stop fixing and start feeling?
- Where can I show up in a more human, connected way?
Here’s to a week of subtle shifts, steady leadership, and showing up when it matters most.
If this message resonates with you, forward it to someone who needs to hear it. And if you haven’t yet, join the community by subscribing to The Subtle Shift.
